What do birthdays mean?
I don’t know. A long time ago, it was pretty easy. As a kid, it was presents and a desire to be older. More responsibilities, more trust, more privileges. The thought that at sixteen you could drive was enough to spur on through the age of fifteen. Always hurrying, always rushing right on through a time period that felt eternal then and seems painfully short later.
I consider these things on my thirty-fifth birthday. It’s not old by any stretch. I can’t say that without threat of people beating me with a raw fish in retaliation. I don’t know why I’m so introspective this time around. Since the age of twenty-five, I’ve pretty much just weathered birthdays quietly without much thought.
Today, I think back on all this stuff possibly because my life has been so full of changes lately. I started a new job officially on Monday; a job I never thought I would want or seek. It’s a dramatic change (possibly improvement) but is very new. As with all things that are so completely different than what we are accustomed to, this is fairly scary. I know I can do it but I find myself questioning whether I should do it.
What is life anyway? What does it mean and matter? What happens in our youth that we regret, lament or praise? I look back and carefully consider that I didn’t really waste much time. Frankly, I never have wasted time. I’ve always done something even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to be doing. And now, with this job, I still have time to do things.
I look back on my accomplishments.
Before I was twenty, I met Rob Brown and joined the Eaten. After recording some awful tapes that we were still proud of, we played some shows. I had already been playing guitar for a good ten years. At that point, I learned to compose with the Ensoniq. I miss those keyboards. They were a lot of fun.
Shortly after the Eaten, I joined Abney Park with Rob. We recorded some amazing CDs including From Dreams and Angels, Taxidermy and Death of Tragedy together. The shows and people we played with were pretty fantastic for the most part. I can honestly say that there was more fun than bad in the Abney Park part of my music career.
Prior to that, I had always wanted to write. Since I was extremely young I was interested in storytelling of all sorts. I went to school for English, not music and have studied this topic extensively. My first endeavors were pure crap on my road to finishing my first, second and third novels.
Glass Moonlight is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written. I’m proud of that book for a variety of reasons but it really exemplified a success for me. I was able to sit down, plan a book on a Monday and write the entire first draft by the following Sunday. I was inspired beyond belief and since then, I’ve finished several books but none felt quite as exciting as that one while doing it.
Years of not doing music led me to start Deadly Nightshade Botanical Society. The first CD was the product of a lot of input from a lot of people. I’ve been proud of the music we’ve created and it’s done very well. The second CD sort of came out of nowhere and became a real labor of love; something that Erica and I both put a lot soul into. I think that the results are extremely fun and definitely something to be proud of.
Just this month I’ve managed to start work on a new project called Wading Dahlias with Erica. This comes from my recent affection for the Cranberries and the acoustic guitar side of Dead Can Dance. We’ve already put together three songs and have more on the way. This has been an incredibly different experience than my years of playing with Abney Park and even DNBS. Simpler on the outside, the straightforward rock has a different feel and a different composition style that makes it harder for me to pull off. At the same time, I’ve never had more fun writing.
Finally, back to story writing, I was responsible for the creation of the Clockwork Man Video Game story. The world, characters, story and script were all my creation. The talented folks over at Total Eclipse brought it to life but from conception, I can take credit for that. It was a hit and people loved it. Their primary complaint was that it was too short. That’s not a bad thing when people actually want MORE of your work.
I think that things have been fine. I can’t look back and regret or wish I had done something different. For the most part, I think that I’m happy with the things are. I’ll be much happier when we’re out of winter… and that’s a big difference for me. This year, the gloom has really been bugging me.
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We have created a little slide show for What Child Is This! Hop over and check it out :) We are closing off the preorder on Sunday to finalize the artwork and finish putting in the names of all the folks who have made a purchase. Act soon if you want to take advantage of the offer: The Preorder download of the CD is available now! If you preorder today, you’ll get access to the CD as soon as your order has been verified. We have begun the pre-order for the new DNBS CD: Accoutrements and Oddities. In celebration, we’ll have a couple songs from the CD available on the MP3 player as well as the Christmas Songs. Sepiachord contacted me today and said that The Ballad of Mister Raisins is the song of the day! Go and check them out over here: http://www.myspace.com/sepiachord Our new song has been posted to the My Space site (www.myspace.com/deadlynightshadebotanica DNBS T Shirts are about to be ordered. We are accepting pre-orders for the next two weeks! Please hop over to the web site and check them out. These are the first of many designs we have in mind so don't wait to take a peek :) I might not be able to write again while on the trip depending on the internet options but I'm here now after a relatively uneventful flight. I have to say that the airline industry is about the most absurd bunch of craziness that I've ever encountered. I love that it costs to check a bag and if you're an 'elite' member of their club, you can check a bag for free! Sweet, service that I've had for years distributed as a perk.
So today, as part of thinking about the band, I went and refreshed my memory of their past. When we were playing those Rush songs 18 years ago (yikes!) I had read one of their biographies. They weren't like Dream Theater heading out to Burkley to learn their trade. They were just musicians who, at first, were playing much like every band does: playing to their influences. That said, I think back to all manner of artistic endeavors, from literature to painting to music to decoupage. What would it have been like to be amidst a period where these things were being defined? I noticed that there are academic research papers on Rush's influence in Progressive Music and so I find myself longing for a period where everything wasn't so precisely defined. At this point in time, you could play five chords and someone would tell you what genre of music you just created. It's the same for everything really. A set of standards exist that must be adhered to. It's not that you can't stretch in one way or another but formatting, structure and expectation are all in place. People call anything 'odd' that doesn't fit the predefined paths. While that was likely true back when things were first finding these niches, I think that it had be an exciting and fun process building those concepts. So I guess my point isn't to sound like I'm complaining about it all or lamenting my year of birth. I just think that, nostalgia aside, pioneering a field had to be one of the greatest gifts that any person can ever be granted.
I finished this book today and I found myself at a loss for words. I've been reading Alexander the Great history and fiction for years and this is the first time that I couldn't get behind his cause. I've read about the battles in Afghanistan several times but this book was a lot more personal and it really brings to light the tribal nature of the 'enemy'. More importantly though, as I read this book, I began to question the righteousness of Alexander's conquests. The show went off without a noticable hitch. I think that we all had a great time and it was the best first show that I could have imagined. Everyone was extremely nice and the crowd was receptive to the music. All around, a great experience.
The proof came and it was excellent. I have approved it and now the book is available as Print on Demand. I am planning on picking up a good 15 or 20 of them in the next couple of weeks to have on hand for sales but for now, they will be sent out via the POD model. Hello! Hey there! The Clockwork Man will be available to play in TWO DAYS (March 18th). That means there's a little time left to get in on the pre-order. Hop over and snag it for only 10 dollars! Half the normal price! A trailer for the Clockwork Man has been revealed! What is the Clockwork Man? It's only one of the most original and exciting hidden object adventure games of its time! I'm a little biased though since... well... I wrote it. |
